Three Ways How to not Make Friends
A lot of people want to be popular and well known. They try everything on earth to be someone. I think this is natural in us humans.
Over the past few years I’ve succeeded at NOT having friends. Why? I ask myself all the time. I feel that I am a good guy and a likable person.
So I’ve decided to tell people that if you don’t want to win friends you have to do as I have done. If you want to succeed at not having friends, then listen to what I have learned from myself about my relationship with friends.
What I’ve learned was that all this time I have been criticizing every person I know without looking at myself first. I also have a habit of complaining too much. Confucius said “Don’t complain about the snow on your neighbor’s roof, when your own doorstep is unclean”.
Have you noticed that I have been using the word “I” too much? If you read “I” you are correct.
You see guys I have been selfish all along, I have been interested on the wrong person all this time and that person is me. I should have been interested in them, all of them, my friends. I have not showed interest in those I met. So please don’t do the same mistakes I made.
If you show interest in them, I mean genuine interest, they will show it back to you like no other.
So another point is here: Don’t bother showing interest in people if you DON’T want to win friends.
The last secret to success at not winning a friend is to NOT show them how much you appreciate them.
I’ll be honest to you and say that actually I have made a lot of friends but that’s only because all my friends have done the opposite of what I have. They know how to win friends. I took for granted their friendship and lost them, because of my lack of appreciation.
I just want to say one last thing if I may: I want to thank all the readers of this blog on behalf of all the writers. If it wasn’t for you I know I wouldn’t have the urge to write. I greatly appreciate and enjoy everyone that reads and comments on this blog.
So listen and learn from my mistakes. Don’t criticize, Don’t be all about yourself, and Don’t take your friends for granted.
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About Wilson: Wilson Usman is a passionate about change,opportunity, and positivity. Always looking at the future but living in the moment. He is an avid reader of business and self-improvement books, and his new found love, blogging. You can find him at <a href="http://www.wilsonusman.com/" Fun Lifestyle of Wilson Usman where he takes you on his Journey to "Have more fun, Work less, and Live Dreams." |
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Gilbert, you have shared the key to making (and keeping) friends. Look at yourself first. You have to be a good friend to have good friends.
Wilson:
Your readers appreciate your writing, so keep on posting. Thanks.
It is also important to cultivate “objective interests.”
In other words, try to develop hobbies that compel you to step outside of your comfort zone. When you feel like being critical, why are you wasting time on it? Don’t you think it’s better to go surfing like Srini? Or, take care of a few household chores? How about running a few errands? Or, read a book in your local library. Go swimming or work-out in the gym. Meditate daily.
“An idle mind is a devil’s workshop,” goes the saying. Whenever I am in a negative frame of mind, I go for a casual stroll in the outdoors and return feeling refreshed. I don’t feel cranky anymore. We all need to learn how to spend alone time and enjoy our own company. By all means, make as many friends as you want. However, your happiness should not depend on their friendship.
Ultimately, we all have to figure out a way to live with ourselves. You can be your best friend or worst enemy. Being critical of others, dwelling on past mistakes, etc. are counter-productive. The important thing to remember is to move forward.