Obstacles You Should Avoid When Designing the Life you Want
You can design the life that you want without any limits. This is a given truth which none of us gets to know from birth, from school or from any conventional wisdom.
Redesigning our lives is absolutely possible but it would entail, first of all, reorienting some of our foundational beliefs from limiting and self-defeating ones to positive and life-affirming ones.
Recognizing those beliefs which are obstacles to creating the life we want is the first big step towards the conscious co-creation of our lives.
Here I list what I think are the main ones:
1. Fatalism
The belief that our lives are completely pre-determined and dictated by higher forces we don’t have control over such as fate, God, luck, celestial bodies, genes, etc.
This does not mean that we should not believe in any of the above but rather not to be disappointed into believing that we have no freedom to make choices and change our future.
We have the responsibility to take charge of our lives.
2. Negativity & self-defeating beliefs
In general it is the sense that we give more weight to the negative rather than the positive aspects of things. This very often distorts our perspective on life.
These are generally beliefs without rational basis. These beliefs make us see life in a skewed way and not as it really is. It hinders us from really trying let alone succeed.
3. Guilt
Guilt is when we believe that some undesirable action we did in the past binds us in the present. It’s when we believe that there is an insolvable part of our past that we regret and that is tying us down even now in the present.
It is tightly linked to a sense of remorse. Whether this sense is real or justified is totally another thing. One thing that is for sure is that guilt is self-created and it immobilizes us. Guilt is very often an illusion and a distortion of reality.
4. Anger
Anger is a very strong negative emotion. It makes us blind to the present circumstances, makes us lose rational judgment and creates a strong emotional imbalance.
Rated as one of the worst of human emotions, it definitely lives up to its name.
6. Prejudice
No need of any introduction. Prejudice literally means making a judgement of something or someone before having knowledge and understanding of it.
Prejudice is locking our minds to predefined and limited modes of understanding. It is also an obstacle to creativity.
7. Lack of Self-confidence
Low self-esteem is a common syndrome. It gives us a weak sense of trust and security in ourselves. It makes us vulnerable to the changes and movements in life and to the thoughts and reactions of other people.
8. Self-Centeredness
Self-centeredness is when we are blind to the needs of others. It is when we are locked into a self oriented mindset wherein we think of ourselves as being cut off and separate from the rest. There is the “I and the others” kind of standpoint. It’s about Me, I and mine.
9. Resistance to Change
Resistance to change is a very real and persistent obstacle if we want to redesign or transform our lives. In fact it is usually the first obstacle we encounter.
Being more conscious of this can alleviate a lot of trouble and friction.
10. The Scarcity Mindset
The scarcity mindset limits us into believing that we can’t always get what we want just because we want it. Resources and opportunities are scarce hence what we want may not always be available and may be highly competed for.
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About Gilbert: Gilbert Ross also writes about inner development, mindfulness and conscious living on his blog Soul Hiker. You can subscribe to his feeds here or follow him on Twitter here. |
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Great insight to what keeps so many of us from reaching our potential. It’s also refreshing this time of year as we look forward to new goals and resolutions. Good work!
Brilliant, Thank you.
Well said. That about sums up all of our excuses for not creating the life we want. I appreciate your insight and brevity. You got to the point and nailed it.
Thanks Deborah!! It’s important that we learn to see through those self-created excuses and drive on to our destination – which is the conscious creation of our life.
@ Keith – thanks for the kind words
@Joseph thanks a lot for your comment. Yes I also think it does coincide well with this time of the year. thanks again
This was an entertaining read, I’m forever on the watch for good articles and blog ideas so thanks. I’ve bookmarked this article so I’ll stay in touch!
Thanks
I’m glad it has been entertaining and useful. Thanks for stopping by and you are more than welcome here…so yes, keep in touch 